Updated: May 10, 2020
It is not always easy to stay positive. We hear it all the time... 'Don't sweat the small stuff' ... 'Just smile' ... 'It could be a lot worse'
Yes... these things are all true but we don't always want to hear them and I am sure we all know that just saying those words does not magically make things okay!
In this blog will tell you 8 tricks that I use to help me stay positive.
Over the years, I have tried to work on my own personal relationship with positivity. I have spent time trying to learn the best techniques or tips to stay positive when at times it feels absolutely impossible to be able to.
My most important tip from what I have learnt is: Accept that you are allowed your down days.
Yes, I understand this blog is all about ways to be positive(!) but I have discovered that it is okay to admit that today is written off, that you just simply can't find your smile for that day. Once you realise it is okay to not be okay, it becomes much easier to make the rest of the days happy.
1. Find your people
Take a look at your support group around you. Are you happy with these people, do you trust them with your secrets? Are these people the one's you see at your family BBQ's in the future?
The answer doesn't always have to be yes! Suprising huh?
What I mean by this is... you definitely need the people around you to make you happy. That is a no-brainer.
It is vital to have a positive support network around you to help you for when times are a little bit tougher. For when you need a shoulder to cry on, or for those funny messages that lift your spirits.
These people are your rock and it is okay to have just 1 or hundreds, that is down to you.
What is important is that these people bring you positivity and happiness, yes it is okay if you have the odd disagreement or time apart, but knowing that they do not constantly drain you.
It is very easy to find the negative people, the ones who pick you apart and use this against you..... AVOID! Their negative attitude will only take you further away from being your best positive self.
What you need to remember though, it is is quality over quantity. For many years I was worried that I only had 2 close friends. I was always worried that if anyone was to try and organise a surprise party for me, they wouldn't really be able to find anyone to invite! However, I soon started to realise that these two close friends brought me so much more happiness than 20 sort-of friends! (And, to be honest, when you really look around, there are so many people who are your supporters, whether these are work colleagues who you can have a giggle with, your neighbour who helps you out, or social media friends who are always the first to like your posts!) When push comes to shove, you soon realise that you have so many people who have your back.
Knowing this, only brings you more positivity.
Going back to what I said about not having to say yes to all those points. It is okay to have close friends and then those who are not so close, the ones who you may not tell your secrets too, or stay friends forever. This is OKAY! If these people bring you happiness then keep them, no matter how close you are.
What is important is to stay alert and when any of your people start becoming leaches to your happiness (sucking the happiness away) then you must gently remove yourself from them.
You are the most important person in your life!
2. Detox your social media
I do this all the time!
Take a look at your social media. What is important to you?
Is it seeing what your friends get up to? Is it getting inspiration from travel pages? Looking at new clothes to buy?
What are you seeing though? Are you jealous of people who go out more than you? Unhappy that you currently aren't travelling the world? Down because you don't look exactly like the models in those dresses?
I do this all the time!
Sometimes I unfollow shops when I am trying to save money (just don't unfollow A little piece of Positivity!)
Sometime I unfollow models when I want to boost my self confidence.
Sometimes I unfollow fitness pages when I just need a break from working out!
This all helps build your positivity. I used to keep old friends on social media so I could 'see what they are up to', but this never helped. Whenever they posted something that I didn't agree with, I would then phone up a friend and have a rant to them.
This is not healthy for your mental health.
You sometimes need to take a look at what you see throughout the day and really take the time to wonder if they are stopping you from reaching optimum happiness.
Remember, you can always take a break, un-follow and then re-follow. Nothing is permanent.
3. Note down what you are grateful and what you would like
Once a week, once a month, whenever... Take a few moments to write down what you are grateful for.
Maybe it is that you finally read that book, you finally managed to get that winged eyeliner looking 'on fleek' (!), you finally plucked up the courage to apply for that job. Or you are grateful for the sunny day on your birthday, you are grateful for your boy/girlfriend, you are grateful for being you!
Not only will this allow you to really think about what is amazing in your life. It will also bring you happiness.
Also try and take the time to write down some things you would like to achieve. These can be big or small. Maybe you want to paint a wall in your bedroom, maybe you want to learn how to french plait or take an online course. Or it could be to travel to New Zealand, or book a holiday to Greece.
These are goals... don't give yourself a time frame. Then look back a few months later to see if you actually got there! If you didn't then no worries, add it to the top of your list and try again!
Every evening, before I go to bed (well I try to anyway!), I write in this book
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Day-5-Year-Journal/dp/0307719774 (also available to purchase elsewhere)
I love it and have had it for 3 years now. You answer a question a day for 365 days and do this for 5 years. It is amazing to compare how far you have come without even realising. I sometimes write a question in it for my future self, or a note from the past!
In my case, I was changing jobs but didn't quite know what my next job would be, so I wrote a question to my future self wondering how I would get on. The following year I could update this and I was so happy to see that I had succeeded and found a job that I loved!
Anyway, what I mean by all this is by putting pen to paper, you can feel positive by growing, feeling grateful and sometimes looking back to see how far you have come.
4. Accept what currently is
Sometimes we all have to accept where we are. Sometimes it may not be exaclty where we want to be, but do you think all successful and happy people were always where they wanted to be?
Bill Gates didn't always run Microsoft, he was once a teenager with a dream.
If you actually take the time to focus on where you currently are you will be so grateful for where you have come from and gain the strength to know that you will be somewhere even better in the future!
5. Slow down
It is not always the ones who rush, that are successful.
The story the Tortoise and the Hare is often true.
Sometimes we stress ourselves out too much by wanting to be somewhere, whether that is in our career or personal life.
I often wanted it all! I wanted a successful business, a house, money, amazing car, travel the world and so much more. To get there you have to work, hustle!
However I would often burn myself out by wanting it all, or giving myself so many jobs to do so I could get it all. Don't get me wrong, you have to work at it, but to stay positive and happy you have to slow down and take one step at a time.
Often you will get there quicker by taking the time to get each step done correctly and the way you want it.
You will also feel more positive because you will have enjoyed the process.
6. Take those risks
You have to!
In order to stay positive, you sometimes need to push yourself. You may be feeling as through you are in a bit of a rut, that you can't quite work out where to go next.
Apply for that job and you never know where it may take you.
Say yes to that date and you may meet the love of your life
Buy that domain name and you may have the confidence to start that business you have always dreamt of.
Having the confidence to do all these will only build your positive mindset.
7. Say Yes more... don't forget to also say No
How many times have you wanted to say yes and haven't?
How many times have you wanted to say no and haven't?
It is okay to say yes, it is okay to say no.
You will feel so empowered by doing both, helping you to stay positive.
Sometimes you might not want to go out for the dinner with the girls. This is okay. Don't bring yourself down by saying yes because you may think they will hate you if you say no.
(A situation like this brings me back to no.1 - find your people!)
Sometimes you might want to say yes to that that job offer but are worried it may not work out. Just think, they want you, so it will be amazing!
By doing this, you will soon start to feel positive by having the confidence to know what you want and what you don't want in your life.
8. Make your bed
Well... it pretty much says it!
However it is so much more than simply making your bed. It is the first little accomplishment of the day. These quotes say it all really:
"If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. And by the end of the day, that one task completed, will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” - Admiral William H. McRaven
Take care and I will speak to you all soon!